Little things

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we are all confused .. and lack clarity ,what we want from our peers ,our friends ,our relatives ,ourselves .. and feel so lost that the only clear way is working and forgetting ourselves in work ,but we do know this when the work has ended do we again feel lost ..
...
Remember the moment ..
recollect the moment and analyze and we might find ourselves in different light
recollect the day and remember every part of memory you might find ...

paint ..sing create.. why..
do ,don't do..why

Taare Zameen Paar

...
consider some colors .. think which of color u like ..paint that color

thinking of some place u want to be this new year..
want to paint with my hands...

about the movie.....
consider in search of a perfect theory we have forgotten than every case is unique..
sometimes what we see and what it is are different ,and sometimes what it is and what we perceive it to be are different
........
little change in some places and life can be really much much better
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amusing things ..in life..
death is certain whether u are brave or a coward.. whether we are rich or poor..
in the same way we are free to feel whatever we wish.. good or bad . happy or sad ..
what do you feel ..what do i feel everyday.. hungry..

To the bright eyes

To the bright eyes filled with happiness ..
to friendship .. to working hard .. to the ability to believe ..
to think of someone and meeting her the next day.."gotta read"..to a fixed ipod.."
to remember saying ..those words again ..
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to ..fire in the belly..
to fight and believe..
to being calm and just doing your best..
conflicts ...to being nostalgic during november..
to little ones .. who look with love..

Free Icecream

i would like to use this post to thank subhashish chakraborty for the ice cream treat held at connaught place .. okay okay . shomu the miser would never treat us .. shomu thinking that we had our stomachs full dared me and jayant to eat one brick of 1000ml icecream each ..little did he know ..anyways shomu thanks for the treat

161

161 is a mythical number ..well not really but it has been given a mythical status atleast by my near and dear ones .Last weekend Me harsha and lokendra went bowling ..well jayant joined us mid way through the night ... we bowled .. for how long..well they closed down the place.. that's howlong ..

do i understand my options and measure them..
doing routine job is better than doing nothing
the wise and the unwise .. the difference is apparaent only then
do work as a penance .. action is a ritual ..
desire expectation is the like the stone which doesn't let a person swim ..
this expectation leads to make the action worthless
selfish desire leads to make action souless,don't u feel sometimes the action is enough .. even without the fruit of action

unwise also perform action .. but the unwise perform action for their own selfish desire

why does a person perform sin..
what makes a person unethical
desire list greed angry
knowledge is covered by desire lust greed
then a person becomes sinful

Things you own end up owning you ...

belief..

consider ..
people u can nurture then for years you can feed them for years ,take care of them yet they can turn on you..
why because it is the present which is important .. only the dead live in the past.
consider the paradox we think we would live forever knowing we can die any moment..
..
consider the clothese we buy the car we drive .. the code we write ...everything owns us as we own it..
ever relationship is two way for it would last.. only then..

if u cannot differenciate between good and bad then u cannot be happy ever
desires take away your intelligence

if u all the time desire something or the other .. then you keep finding ways to satifying your desire..
like if i want to be rich should i take it from everyone else make everyone else bankrupt ..
if i want wood should cut all the forests in the world..
what is answer..
how to satisfy ..
think beyond your hunger and find the reason for your hunger ..
these days a man flows without realising where he is flowing and thinks its nature to flow ..
change is permanent..
but without knowing the change , without understanding the need to change should change happen

Changes..

This saturday somebody died in the mud hut
grief has no sound or does it..

i was looking at a mud hut.. in these rainy days ..i wondered the hardships the people living in slums are going through in these rainy days ..i marvel at the spirit of those people who atleast i admire ..
why do i admire them
i admire the strength they have ..the will to survive. ..
While solving questions
i realised .. the bar can be raised.. just when i think its enough i realise their is a lot of more to things i than we perceive

Nature law of conformity..

some thoughts ..
I .. the basis of i is thinking that an i exists ..
does an activity such an thinking exists or we gather information and call it thinking..
do i need eyes that's why eyes were their or were they their before .. and eyesight came later..

Waiting for Nothing

truth..
this word .. if u remove the T ... ruth.. is ruthless..
consider.. the thought the ones who care about u the most u care about them less..
the ones who give importance to u,you give less importance to them..
some kind of ego thing ..
its like u are stuckin the middle of a vicious circle and u give to those who give nothing to u.. but take from those to whom u give nothing...

Well does life get any better More yesterday than today How I thought the sun would shine tomorrow But it rained . . .

why i am doing these things .. coming to office working.. thinking.. talking writing.. all the stuff.. consider..feel the same things all over again..
good bad.. fear anger..or have i just defined my feelings in such way

The 12th Man ...

what color is her eyes..
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in life we are free men.. we are free to choose .. to live in the same streets as the rich and powerful ..we are free to forgive or to forget.. free to hate.. but in life the choice we make between hating or forgiving can be the story of our lives.. (courtesy shantaram..)
consider when a beggar comes to asking for alms , doesn't he or she has a choice whether or not to hate u.. .. if u don't give alms to him ,he might hate u .. if you do he might still hate u..
he might hate u for the simple reason you have something he doesn't .
.................
in the same tone.. consider your relationship with your boss. do u hate him if doesn't give u the raise in salary you expected ..or gives you less than you expected.. does that makes you hate him or her...do u forgive him .. understand empathize with him.. respect his decision.. or not is upto you...so understand the choice is yours ..
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many times i have given alms to a person who asks me.. but i am yet to see a man happy after getting the alms.. relief.. yes happiness no.. i don't understand... maybe i understand asking for something in itself.. makes a person sad.. so what happiness is their in this self humiliating experience of begging..
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what difference is their between begging and praying.. for something.. i wonder..

Focus Determines Reality..

consider sitting in a office .. without the inclination or motivation to do anything but still working 10 hours a day..talk about doing your karma..
........................................
oh.. my star is fading and i don't know what do ..
talking to you i might say..
come here oh my star is fading.. i stuck in here in this hole..
come here my star is fading i have been talking to strangers
to voices i haven't heard before..
walking in alleys ... in streets of no concern.. i bounded myself to you ..
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looking at love ...looking at an anxious lover's eyes waiting .. .. ..saw love after a long time..
those two were in love.. i could see..after a long time.. may be the first couple i saw in delhi .. i could say loved each other..
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Place Ruby Tuesday..

two people chatting discussing the limitations they are bounded in..
consider..
she says "never go out with a girl just out of relationship.. sleep with her. .."
talk about morality..double standards..
her explaination is that .."when she is just out of relationship .. she is just too bitter from inside and she doesn't even know .."
incomparison to guys who are more in touch with what they feel ..
they are more honest about their ex..
..........................
Now i turn my attention to a couple and girl sitting .. the couple is hands in hands type of situation .. just imagine it ..the third person a girl is on the phone. .. for most of the time..
what do i think when i look at the three people sitting together the third is just on the phone..
as if she doesn't want to be their..
say what u may it won't change a thing..
........................

AOc tales ..

so we kept playing one on one's ..
wolfpack vs villager vs alexander ..kept on going ..in this time CS also became a rage and a lot of players switched to it..but still AOC has its charm ...one of ones started a new concept of walling to protect the trebs from cavalry ..nice idea .. tower rush.. dark attack.. feudal rush. jayant and CD pony all started watch matches of various world championships and learnt..a lot from their.. .
a lot of management skills like which villager to send to lumber how many villagers on food .. how many on gold.. wether to mine stone in feudal or not. .. we also practice knight rushes a lot.. and this strategy still is common if their is less feaudal fighting.. Orion Zap started to show the archer rush. which was devasting if u are not prepared for it .Champions rushes by vikings ..was also patented by them.. well loads of stuff happened .. don't remember all ..

Aoc Tales.. continued

..
we went to second year and switched from nsc to iiit jhalwa.. started playing with tandon hades.. (though jayant took and lived up to the hades legacy) joshi .. manas(inspite of being a gr8 player very humble..).. we played learnt new techniques.. and here in the second year of college.. i played with rajdeep or CD.. man this guy .. though we totally opposite in our style of living somehow .. i liked his ability to learn and improve..liked we did new things hitting sub 15 castle.. a 21 min imp .. learning... new concepts..like height factor .. fishing boom.. our juniors improved as well..we lost to them ..but it turned out to be learning experience and we improved more..
rajdeep or CD as we called him improved by leaps and bounds ...and became the best AOC player ..
We both played a lot of games i guess used to play 10 1 on 1 in a day.. loki also joined us though he was just beginning to play..
loads of one of one games were being played these days ...second year..

AOC

let me go back in time...when we entered college..
in our first year ..we form a gang.. a gang of agers .. who played AOC (age of empires like a religion..)the games weren't games .. they were epic battles.. wolfpack caeser phoenix attacker Alexander dumbledore..lord voldemort.. knightmare..
Epic battles let me explain.. we come to college on a saturday a group of 8 ...start playing the games were so long that we had to take breaks ..lunch break .. toilet break pause the game for few seconds and then back ... and this continued till late in the evening till around 9 pm.In some ways when i look back it was a endurance test mor than anything ..we proved to oursleves and to everbody else.. that we can play..especially our senoirs who in the beginning humiliated us with 2 on 6 matches ...but after sometime couldn't even play 4 on 4 against us...i guess we played long and hard..

what difference the words i love you means ..
does they make someone already loved know..what..a person feels for them.. not really ..how can we describe love ...what can i say to tell you i adore you .. that i get pleasure from yor happiness .. that i like you like no other ..tha when i with you i am myself .. that all wounds all my sorrow disappears when i am with you...

Notebooks

Leonardo..

To enjoy - to love a thing for its own sake and for no other reason

Iron rusts from disuse ,stagnant water loses it purity and in cold weather becomes frozen even so does inaction sap the vigour of the mind
Vows begin when hope dies...
It is by testing that we discern fine gold
As is the mould so will the cast be


Obstacles cannot bend me
every obstacle yields to effort
Not to leave the furrow
He who fixes his course by a star changes not

counting.. till twenty..

somebody told me.. i told u so......

The day when u look for something.. everything goes against..
we counted till six........i counted till one...
said i am going to buy this place.. and burn it down..
and do back the things it did to u in return..
said i going to buy this place.. and start a fire.. stand here till i fill all your heart desires..
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when i talk to you i am myself....

She Wore BLUE...

standing under stairs with some oher guy ..
she looked at me and said hi..
i am looking for cartridge..
going inside strange alleys .. and visiting eerie places..
talking to strangers about stranger things...

...walking back ..meeting...someone i know.. ..

Listen to words between the lines..

Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you, And everything you do, Yeah they were all yellow, I came along I wrote a song for you And all the things you do And it was called yellow So then I took my turn Oh all the things I've done And it was all yellow Your skin Oh yeah your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful D'you know you know I love you so You know I love you so I swam across I jumped across for you Oh all the things you do Cause you were all yellow I drew a line I drew a line for you Oh what a thing to do And it was all yellow Your skin Oh yeah your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful D'you know for you i bleed myself dry For you i bleed myself dry Its true look how they shine for you look how they shine for you look how they shine for you look how they shine for you look how they shine for you look how they shine look at the stars look how they shine for you

What For

My sister calls me lazy.. i think being lazy is the biggest virtue a Person can have.i think being lazy drives person to work harder today so that laz around in the end.. in other wrds ave our peace later on ..

who are you..

i am something..
i think i am something..
i do something i become something..
but i am something else....
i am what i think i am...

..

Remember

Do you want to remember everything you learn ..
if yes then imagine a room ..the biggest room you have ever seen ,may be a palace..
make your mind as big as the room you see in the palace....in the palace of your mind...

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..my reading have taken a turn from the fiction to non fiction(basically 3g 4g telecom)..
won't talk about that..
read hannibal rising.. thomas harris.. its 5 pm and i haven't had lunch.. so.. i better have something.. let's see

Survival

existence is identity ..
identification is concious...
AN A is an A... a thing is defined by itself..

you cannot have your cake and eat it too
which means .. a thing is a thing.. leaf can't be a stone.. at the same time..
dual nature of things doesn't exists unless we observe from two different references..

Fairness

Weekend.. i decided to agree to my mother's wishes and buy somethnigs for myself. i bought a shirt from dockers.. 1599 .. a t shirt 899.. i find it amusing to get pay more.. for the same things .. which aren't worth that much.. its something like a play.. in which i am an actor.. and the world swindles me.. trully depraved the thought in a way ...

to be reasonable.. its just the way life is.. we all swindle each other..
Some questions
suppose we want truth.. why do we not want the untruth. why don't we want ignorance..

can something arise from its opposite.. how can it..its inconcievable.. to the shadow that has no face..

ought to discover some day that words have an exact meaning

Last WEEKEND..IMAGinE SomeThing NEw..

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.."
Jack Kerouac


what..
how have i been .. what i have been doing..
went to ansal plaza with udit...well its shopping complex in delhi for those of you who don't know .We both went to the IMAGINE shop saw the APPLE IMAC i simply adore it.. i saw so many faces.. kids playing table soccer( i forgot what its called foosball i think)..we got bored of ansal plaza.. then we went to CP.. had this bagattefrom wenger's bakerywhere i saw this girl with the sadest eyes i have seen for a long time...After some time walking on CP inner circle a free lance photographer was taking pictures of little girls , i think for some exhibition. we hungs around for a fw hours .. then we went to Priya@vasantvihar.. sat there outside nirulas.. playing weird games while having walnut cake..like estimating the hair on each other's head.. on trees.. well we estimate the leaves to be around 200k and the hair around 50 to 75 k :) .. well we both like to play such games... trying to judge our quantative aptitude i guess whether rust has overtaken us or does the brain still works.. bought books by Rimbaud and Jack kerouac(not sure if i got the name right)
udit bought a book on haikus..

Beyond Right and Wrong

Most of us talk to ourselves without realising.. that whom are we talking to.. do we need some logical explaination to ourselves of what we want to do and what we don't .. should we intrinsically know what we think.. but are we so disconnected from our souls that we need to communicate to ourselves .This is something weird strage.. we aren't able to even communicate to ourselves how can we ever think of doing what we like.
what should i do you may ask me..
how should i find silence.... freedom from not talking to my self..
i say talk to your self .. but realise that you have take the responsibility of whatever you choose..
sub concious concious and super concious they may call these things but its just me..
and i can choose to unite them as well as divide them.

Jack Daniels..on the rocks..

the weekend ..
after a long time was like the one i had before.. where i had not time to breath.. every second utilized .....
felt like i did something.. .if not anything else .. was in good company..
udit got placed .. well got two offers. rocksearch and global analytics.. \:D/
pranav had already been placed so we had long await party..
me and udit went to CP .. hung around.. china town.. blues.. . udit wanted to try thai..
we went around looking for thai restaurant in CP.. we even decided to go to QBA and TGIF..
..
came back... had coffee at barista.. ..fed biscuits to some dogs..
saw 8 feet below.. nice movie.. talked to pranav about barclays...
then we went to DRUMS OF HEAVEN for dinner.. nice place.. great food..
had fun..
..