Tuesday, December 13, 2005

LIFE

they say only death is free and it also come with a price called life ..
7th semester is over and i am back home wasting time as if it is there to be wasted ..
had a great presentation and all ,hoping for a great grade ..

Saturday, October 29, 2005

The Birth of Tragedy

"Dare now to be tragic men, for ye shall be redeemed!"
chapter 20 The Birth of Tragedy

The Birth of Tragedy by Nietzsche(summary and review)
bless my crooked soul having the guts to review a classic but even so while reading some portions of the book,i have come to realise the limitation language imposes on us,the limitation of the I "the individual".Man has been so engrossed with i that he has forgotten the surroundings..even thought the I becomes We in some cases ..the limitation of our consicous hampers us to include everything.The universe is not based upon I and We neither it is based on the domain and its limitations that we make it out to be situated in,it is neither in the words i write now, cause words I ,u,We can hardly be used to describe such feelings.So I ask myself what does!( In Simple words - not everything we feel can be expressed in words,and in our life we are fixated with I ,we,U other words words which cannot ever define the universe as they are incompetent to even describe our feelings )
Music exists in the realm beyond language, and so allows us to rise beyond consciousness and experience our connection to the Primordial Unity. Music is superior to all other arts in that it does not represent a phenomenon, but rather the "world will" itself.

IN the Birth of Tragedy Nietzche looks at the birth greek tragedy((Tragedy-A serious medieval narrative or narrative poem written in an elevated style and typically dealing with the downfall of an important or powerful person)) when it was born .. the meeting of appollonian worldview with dionysiusian.Even though he is critical of what is perceived as art ,Nietzsche has faith in the human soul and urges us to drop our Socratic pretenses(the idea of right and wrong) and accept the culture of Dionysus again.Nietzsche describes the state of Greek art before the influence of Dionysus as being naive, and concerned only with appearances. In this art conception, the observer was never truly united with art, as he remained always in quiet contemplation with it, never immersing himself. The appearances of Individual(Apollo) was designed to shield man from the innate suffering of the world, and thus provide some relief and comfort.

Then came Dionysus, whose ecstatic revels first shocked the Apollonian man of Greek culture(well you can say the appollonian man was like the hindu saffron brigade aakka shiv sena and Dionysian was valentines day). In the end, however, it was only through one's immersion in the Dionysian essence of Primordial Unity that redemption from the suffering of the world could be achieved(Meaning sex can elevate u!!).In simple words in life we have the choice to suffer and hope that we find salvation afterwards ( what a crazy idea, just a way to suffer ) or to join Dionysian gang and revel(Rockstars acid,drugs sex ,rockand roll,promiscuity ). In Dionysus, man found that his existence was not limited to his individual experiences alone, and thus a way was found to escape the fate of all men, which is death. As the Dionysian essence is eternal, one who connects with this essence finds a new source of life and hope(Now wait a minute,what is the bull and crap about being eternal ,Life is right now why this fixation with eternity) . Nietzsche thus shows Dionysus to be an uplifting alternative to the salvation offered by Christianity, which demands that man renounce life on earth altogether and focus only on heaven. For, in order to achieve salvation through Dionysus, one must immerse oneself in life now.

wonderful ... na

Friday, October 28, 2005

TO Where

i am waiting to find something to base my life around,what's that something is i don't know,but i don't know a lot of things.
what's going in my life ..
well today 28th is the day i celebrate my birthday,na its not my birthday today .. but since my cousin pranav was born on 28th i do so. The past two days i have beating all sleeping records getting up in the evening at 5 ...just gave sim cat 4(mocks conducted by ims) in the past few days . So i have been lazy ..so lazy infact haven't celebrated my birthday.
i have been orkutting these days
someone wants to see really adorable pick of a baby elephant akka sushant kumar (chussi) visit
http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=16991304000418426587
walking away..
to where.....somewhere anywhere

Monday, October 17, 2005

phaedrus

but about myself: am I a monster more complicated and swollen with passion than the serpent Typho, or a creature of a gentler and simpler sort, to whom Nature has given a diviner and lowlier destiny? But let me ask you, friend: have we not reached the plane-tree to which you were conducting us?

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

WHaT ShoulD i WriTe AbouT

Life as it is gives us a melange of experiences ,which sometimes we feel savor.
during the past few weeks a lot has happened ,old friendships coming back to life ,new ones undergoing trials ,breakups in between,accidents to others, fractures slip discs in neck , won a few prizes ... showered in glory presenting papers ..attended lunch birthparty in which i had loads of fun,in between a girl asked me to dance with her but really screw ups in majority.
these are the few of the experiences i went through in the last two weeks.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Game theory

Game theory in novels

An example of commitment using third party contracts is found in Mario Puzo's classic novel The Godfather. Those who may have only seen the film and not read the book might remember a few references to "the hostages" prior to any meetings between the heads of the families. In the book, this is described in much greater detail.

"The Bocchicchio Family was unique in that, once a particularly ferocious branch of the Mafia in Sicily, it had become an instrument of peace in America." The Bocchicchio Family is described as most ruthless and completely unamenable to logic and reason. Their simple code of vengeance did not make exception - if you harmed a member of their family, revenge would always follow. This irrationality become a limitation in America and the Bocchicchio family "knew they could not compete with their Mafia families in the struggle to organize and control more sophisticated business structures like prostitution, gambling, dope and public fraud." However, searching for an occupation in the new land of America, "the Bocchicchio Family became negotiators and hostages in the peace efforts of warring Mafia families."

Here is the basic idea. Say that Michael Corleone, the head of one Mafia family wishes to meet with Don Tessio, the head of another in order to discuss a deal for mutual advantage. The invited guest has no way of knowing if he will be safe during the visit, and Michael's promises that he will not hurt the guest cannot be believed. There is a problem of commitment here, and without some commitment, the two will not meet.

Enter the Bocchicchio Family. When Michael invites Don Tessio, he not only promises not to harm him, but also hires a member of the Bocchicchio Family to go to Tessio's house. There, the "hostage" will be guarded by Tessio's men. If Don Tessio does not return safely, Tessio's men will kill the hostage. The Bocchicchio Family, seeking revenge, will blame Michael Corleone for the death, since he made the promise that Don Tessio will not be harmed.

Now here is where the Bocchicchio Family's ruthlessness and irrationality is important. They have a reputation for revenge. They can't be bargained with. They can't be bribed. This way, Michael Corleone recognizes that breaking his promise to keep Tessio safe will result, eventually, in his own death. So, he commits to Tessio not through "cheap talk" or empty promises, but through a contract with a third party which is both credible and a strong enough commitment to guarantee that the meeting will take place.



Iannis Xenakis
Engineer turned classical composer, Xenakis formulated musical reflections of game theory with two "competing" orchestras in his compositions Duel and Strategie, both defined as "games for two orchestras."



"Murray Street is perhaps best seen as a product of cooperative game theory. Like all Sonic Youth albums, it is a result of individuals, striving in a collectivist environment, for goals that are only understood once they are achieved."

what is game theory?
It's a theory of probability that's a mathematical discipline that more or less has been applied improperly to real-life situations. It's just that idea of a set or rules that gets misused that intrigued me about it. I was reading how it was used in cold war strategies and all sorts of high-level things like that, with no particular record of success. And I just thought it was kind of a negative comment, really, but kind of a telling comment on life in general -- that you just have to have some sort of set of rules, but who knows what the set of rules should be. You just sort of make up what you can and go with it.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

LIfe's like that....



what do u say to a nine year old riding a Riksha in the middle of Allahabad civil lines, his father was ill and he was doing it in order to earn money for his medicines.. he asked me whether he could drop me anywhere ...
i wonder may be i should have gone someplace with him on his riksha.. i wonder if i was correct in giving him the money without using his services, was it the honorable thing to do,may be i could have paid him after using his riskha....may be
his father may be really ill and might be dying.. suddenly a nine year old is man of the house..
but life is like that sometimes we suddenly grow up to this world and our childhood are lost

Thursday, August 25, 2005

The funniestt thing i ever heard.........

plz answer the question given below.. asked to father whose daughter is going for an MBA
"How are you letting her study an MBA.. where will you go for a more qualified husband for her now"..

my words.... first i laughed at it .. then i realised that this is no joke to lampooned at .This is the truth that is repeated day after day in the households of India.
tell me how many girls go for higher studies .. after the age of 23 they are thought of some commodity which has to be traded.I couldn't help wondering if me and my parents didn't encourage my sister to do an MBA would she have taken a stand to do it.
sometimes i stare at the stars to ask such questions which have no answers or questions which i don't want to answer,other questions which seem impossible to answer but yet can be solved .. will i do it won't i ...is it right or is it wrong .. is my percetion right or wrong..
in right and wrong whatever i choose ..thanks for power to choose

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Googled


some questions from google fresher interviews included writing a haiku ..
1. Write a haiku describing possible methods for predicting search
traffic seasonality.

funny na a haiku on season traffic seasonality.... on search engines i hope

my take ...

search engines hits down this
summer .undergrad vacations on ..
na this would not qualify as a haiku ..
not original and not new perspective at all

take 2
search through times is increasing
happiness all around
I'm feeling lucky

..........

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Where do u see yourself after 5 years?


ever been in an job interview .. one of the most irritating questions is
Where do u see yourself after 5 years?
Ans.[$%#@^%#@^*%&&($%^$()&^&] an array of bullshit

in interviews i discover that i am cassandra and after being cursed by apollo no one is going to believe me if i predict the future .So i acquiescence to my fate and lie and as predicted they believe me.
does an arrow know where it is going after it has been fired.. i say it is not his interest to know... that is for the bow of circumstances and the bow string of time to know.
in between if you are wondering about what other parts of the bow are they.... plz refer tothe pic above...
but today is the time to ponder .. how can a few question which tend to be so tautological decide the fate of a candidate..

Friday, August 19, 2005

An Equal Music -II

The thing about camellias you know ,is that when there about to die ,they won't tell you in time.If they lack water ,they don't look unhappy for a while,and show you they're suffering ,they just die.......
love in relationships also does not show but just dies.....
can u play without hearing the music .. an equal music u can play without needing to hear it.. i wonder my friend what musics would i have heard if i couldn't hear..
i can only wonder i guess...

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

An Equal Music

And into that gate they shall enter,and in that house they shall dwell,where there shall be no cloud or sun,no darkness nor dazzling ,but one equal night,no noise nor silence,but one equal music,no fears nor hopes,but one equal possesion,no foes nor friends,but one equal communion and identity,no ends nor beginnings,but one equal eternity.....
-JOHN DONNE

Friday, August 05, 2005

trilogy

These are from Trilogy Interview.

(i)Given Finite numbers of sets say S1 , S2 , S3 .... SM . Design an algorithm Find the element such that , it is a member of largest number of sets


(ii)Design a data structure for which Insertion , Deletion and Searching Takes O(1) time . The Data Structure must be such that it holds at the most N Keys. It must throw exception FUll() when there is no more space .(Dont assume anything about type,values... etc of keys )




well my idea is to use array indexed from [Smallest element...........Largest element]and then count the frequency of each elements . And then we can element with Larget frequency .

Largest and Smallest are the Largest and Smallest elements of the set X = { S1 Union S2 Union S3 U .... SM } , The Time complexity is O(N) , N=|S1|+|S2|+|S3|.....|SM| . But this idea is not good , if the numbers are not uniformly distributed in the range smallest to Larget , or if number of elements are less compared to the size of the range.


Another Idea is to use BST ( or AVL Tree )with a Frequency Counter for each node. which is O(NlogN)

Are there any Better Solutions... ? I Guess there are.

What doesn't kill u just makes u stronger

There are those who live in the boundaries of guilt and fear, in the limits of imagination. One must dance in the moment. Reach down and pull up a song. Spin and chant and forget the sorrow that we are flesh on bone



- Book of Osiris, Egyptian Book of Dead(taken from suze's blog)



lately in my life a lots been happening which has left me all a bit unsure of future,you might say that the future is fickle and can never be planned but what to say of the human mind ,it always wants to plan ,preplan and post plan and plan.i been wondering whether the notion of right or wrong is justified . what is right or wrong in a situation that is already based upon some preconceived notion which can sound abstract to most people.Meanwhile my active vocab has decreased cause of my stay at chandigarh.. well my friends kinda don't like me speaking english so i have to converse in punjabi ..
i am at the crossroads of my life from where one path is different from the other..
though i have chosen a path .. i really don't know much about it
yesterday i was talking to a very intelligent girl ,and it was about the title of this blog... survival life is all about it,surviving something will give you confidence and experience..in between while i am writing amdocs results(recruitment is going on though i didn't appear today ) have come and some of most brilliant people haven't made the aptitude tests(sometimes i feel as though pulling my hair out what is required to get through these tests)and my friend is lying on the bed besides me supined by the force of destiny.To live another day he must survive today and so must i

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Mocha

me some old friends and new went to this place called Mocha...i met my old chess mate
cheema ..i know him from his turban days..great time with some great people .. kk ,sid akka tuppi ,pranavan akka peera.. and amit .. great guys .. and i had a great time..
after having some desserts hukkas we went to kk's place.. and decded to watch pulp fiction at around 2 in the night.. i kinda skipped it cause i knew i was in no mood to understand a tarantino movie after such a day..in the morning we had the
who will have a bath first competetion .. cheema came first at 9 ..after that amit around 12 then peera at 2..but kk and sid were in no mood to let up sid came last at 4 and we went to malls of noida to just chill out

Monday, July 11, 2005

BACK TO SCHOOL oops COLLEGE

now the summer holidays are over i go back to college...
the experiences i have gathered in chandigarh in the last month offer a practical insight into the working of this world.I played in a chess tornament after 6 years ..
first day went god 3.5 out of 4 .. that translates to 3 wins and a draw
the next ay i lost a match which normally i would have won.. and after that i lost my chance to win the tournament ..though in the next round i won against a rated player..
and finished with 5.5/7 score .. i thought i underachieved by not coming 1 or 2.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Alliance Franciase-le meilluer

today i write about my experiences learning french in alliance franciase
they say ... by they i mean the wise men saints philosphers etc

learning a new language changes the person.......
i ain't that divine as the person who said those words but i will second it

the first day we met the first of our instructors Madam Vandana Behl ..
typical teacher kinda reminds me of all my years in school..
the demanding types...
cool class started with introduction to french as a language
the country of france etc.. then we switched to greetings
au revior .. a bientot .. i felt i was being taught to speak
like being given the words again.. realised that it is the action rather than the words .. communication is non verbal first and then non verbal..
asking someone names
comment vous vous appelez?
tu t'appelles
...
they next day we met met the other instrutor devyani ..
pretty na! the look on all the guys faces
our hearts were broken when we learnt she is married and too top it all has two kids

any ways she helped us in the pronunciation part

the next day i had this weird problem in saying the word je
to be pronounced as in meaSure
je suis meilleur
so we started with our sentences and our tales of trying to translate

somehow we all feel to give words to things we understand
let us take for example love .. we have given a term to a feeling which some say cannot be described ..
so it is inherent in social life to give words to a particular expression ,relation ..
the same way even though we can understand what most words meant in the class we still chose to translate them .. for our benefit ..(give me the benefit of the doubt.. why cause i am the batsman oops ! sorry the writer that's the cricket blood in me speaking )
so we translated .. repeated after the teacher like irritating 9 year olds

speaking some words which at first doesn't make sense .. expressions such as
je ne comprende pas were my favourites during the duration of the learning process
but then i understood that a language i to be lived ..not learnt
au revior
a bientot

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

PRESQUE-VU

well it's been like two years when i fainted ,but i still remember the day .. i had 104 degreees centigrade temperature calling up my father and after talking to him .. i just dropped down in front of the PCO.
today in my french class one of my classmates droppped like a feather.. i just remember those days of pain .. of treatment and recovery of trying to run and falling .. of trying to play and don't have a stamina .. of trying to read but didn't see to understand a word
.. of sitting alone and preparing for re-exams
realising that i am not as sharp as i was..

anyways ....
it was something similiar

thanks for all those things

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Notion of Simplicity

yesterday was like all other days ....
na it wasn't no single day is like the other ,they say there is nothing which is an exact copy of the original.Incidents accidents etc are all a part of life.
went to kick one of my friends away ..may be forever ..
at the station a blind man asked us for direction to get out of the station... well i just thought may be i can walk in darkness for a while and let him walk in light..
i went outside with him .. walking with him ,i actually never walked with such care before , my cavalier attitude to life suddenly went missing ,the insouciant suddenly became cautious...anyway i asked him where he had to go ,tried to look for a tempo ...
couldn't find one .. asked a riksha puller to take him whenever he want to go ..
or make him take a bus to his destination ...
well i had to go back my friend was there at the station...

well i went back to the station and my friend was there , well he didn't discuss my actions .. well may be he is too used to my thinking or too confused at my actions

in between
want to singing songs of farewell to friends
try The End by the Doors

This is the end beautiful friend the end
This is the end my only friend the end ,of our ellaborate plans the end
of everything that stands the end ,no safety or suprise the end
....
as i was singing and my friend was humming with me
the train starting
and he boarded ..
and a hug..........

...and solitude..........
a hundred years of it

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Abstract

life in abstract
exams going on , presque vu with someone.Scope for improvement approaches infinity .

what is meant by being abstract ?
If someone calls you abstract what does it mean?
i gather it meant that i am impersonal in my views and attitude .That i always look at a situation without being actually in it.A outsiders views to personal problem.
Like looking at something without being involved in it.
guess that is why i am satisfied or look satisfied atleast to others, cause i never make it personal.Even when i am involved in something deeply i always act with detachment.Now the previous line seems as if it is contradictory.
What it does is decreases the amount of time to recover from a set back or a gaffe .Cons are that it can lead to another gafffe, never quitting is a very bad habit .though one thing tenacity pays in everything yup eveything and anything...........