Sunday, December 21, 2008

What is Death

This(Death) in Scientific terms is thought as a flat line on the EEG means cessation of heart beat and brain activity.The illusion of the subjective "I" in the individual conciousness should cease with the cessation of brain waves .Yet the thought of death as passing into nothingness is not a scientific one,the popular imagination developed by the world about death is supposed to be a terminal state ,a void that destroys life ,that swallows it up forever .It is aligned with sleep ,darkness and unconciousness.It is feared by those who want to happy or who feel happy.It is sought by people in misery anguish those in pain..as a final blessed anesthesia.
what is this nothingness,how come something just vanishes into a black hole as if it didn't exist. this nothingness , this realm where we all go, where is it, where does the life force go suddenly.Where did it come from, is it a chemical reaction.

A + B -> C +D  and A +B cease to exist.

even in chemical terms we realise that no reaction is complete totally and it is only some part which is converted, is this a hint to the philosphy the state of life that all is the not gone but some part is left.Is life just like those reactions which we studied in chemistry, the biomolecules , the building blocks of life are based on these reactions , what makes this flow happen.What will happen when we reach a stage in science when we can't die from organ failure will we die then or not.Will we realise if a life force is present whether the concious is transfered.
There is a theory of karma that concious is transfered from one state to another similiar to a state transition that we start from a microorganism and then build into a human and so on
darwin theory of evolution is similiar to this with exception that it thinks of it as time line to the evolution of the humans rather than a whole transition which every being faces.
..........

Monday, December 15, 2008

Death

death is something when the blood in our body stops to pump..
death is something when the ones who care about you realise you have gone..and they ponder on thoughts you gave them ..a person close to me died recently and he once talking about death told me ..
"after dying people forget you and move on..."
we ponder on thoughts about the person who died how they helped shaped your character ...
i remember how he used to play cricket with us ,how he used to wish me on my birthday without fail.. how he used to take for a sunday ride to hills and stopping and turning back only when we told him to.. In my childhood my best friends were books ,saturday used to be an off i used to go to the library and read whatever i could ..walking back from the library going i used to stop and meet him him in his clinic on my way back , still remember me having coke ..sometimes i used to be tired and he used to drop me home.. 
i went to nationals once.. and you know.. its was kinda lonely..but when i came back.. i saw he was happy.. anytime my name came in the newspaper he called and congratulated me..
whatever i read whatever i learnt he quizzed me on it.. 
when i came back from my bachelors, he asked me to go for my masters abroad as he did .. i haven't till now.. he had four brothers all of them stay abroad.. when he died none of them could come, he knew none of them could come and that part is the one that hurts .... i guess this is the main reason i am still in India...
I would worry about everyone around me too much to go that far..
he was kinda the push my sister had.. when she studied even though she wasn't great but she tried to do her best.. he loved gardening.. at the end of it.. i ask
"How can u repay kindness and unconditional love.."

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Tipping points..

metaphors that make our life..some of them mean so much ,as they justify our actions .
they inculcate behaviour.they make us go into a prison ,prison of the past ,,past experiences condition our behaviour of good and bad,prison of the future-expectations 
expectation make us do things which we do.. 
is it just based on this .. past and the future where have i left my present ..
expecting to have a beautiful future ..no present is present.. where do we find true freedom

Monday, August 25, 2008

Pain Vs Pain...

..................................................
what drives us...
the pain that we get from not doing or the pleasure of doing
In life we face many situations where we are at ends to decide what path to take, each path leading to different direction a different life.Why do we all at one point on the other face the dilemma of choosing one path over the other.Only one thing being certain that choice we take will take something away from us.
...so we think what to, well i say ask yourself..some questions

whether pain of not doing is greater than the pain of doing
whether the short term gain is less than long term harm ...how does it make u feel , do u feel great while doing it..
these questions are valid in any situation
from exams ,studies ,relationships... any situation just ask some relevant questions important to you...and you will find the dark clouds receding...and sunlight coming through...

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Deconstructivist Architecture

Gehry's Guggenheim Bilbao

Koolhaas's student center at the Illinois Institute of Technology, Chicago

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Naruto.. what so cool about it..


.....Their is this anime ,you might have watched by the name Naruto...
its a story about a boy who wants to become a ninja and eventually the chief of the village.
what's so great about the character is that he never gives up,never backs down. Even his frds call him stupid but he has that positive effect.Its like the guy won't quit or back down from anything and in doing so he gives hope to many who are either on the verge of quitting or have already quit.He makes them believe again... to believe in themselves their own qualities ..that they can be whatever they want to be.let me tell you about a situation in the series,during his chuunin exams the examiner gives all the genin taking the test a choice
1. Take the tenth question or don't take it (Take it or leave it question)
( i) if u take it and fail you will never be allowed for the exam again
(ii) if don't you and all our frds wil fail...but u can take it next year
what would u do..........
In any situation consider any their are pros and cons...
but what matter to a person is not how many pros or cons but the weight of the pros and the cons.. if a particular con is too great it sabotages the situation ............

what happens when the weight of pros is equally great as a con..
pain of not doing is equal to pain of doing something... that is what we call a catch22...
........we will talk about it later ...how to solve this.. of pain vs pain..of how to take the better choice.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Beliefs and Convictions..

...........................
"Under what we think ,lives all that we believe in,like the ultimate veil of our spirits"
-Antonio Marchado
............................
Consider life ,how we fare in it.. is based on what we believe in ,rather than what we are capable of.If we think we can understand a phenomenon,we accept it, we believe it .
Consider the belief a person has of being sexy.. where does he/she get the idea from.The belief is supported by the fact that people call him/her that, the fact he/she thinks he/she looks good .This might be supported by others.What does this tell you ,this tells you the image a person has is made up of beliefs he has about himself and others.
Now why are we discussing this ,this may come as self evident.
This was just a tip of the iceberg what i am trying to get at is that the beliefs you carry determine your performance.The reasons for your failures or sucesses are your beliefs ..
"Do you have the guts to never give up..."... well most of us don't.. but if u did .. it would be a strong force ..you must have seen some players perform when the chips are down, like michael bevan ,mike hussey ,andre agassi etc.. why do they perform so much better .. its cause they believe that its impposible to give up or to lose tamely...
aren't we indians thought of tame losers in the world of sport...and we hide in the blanket of culture as our escuse..why do we do.. that ! .. we do that it is more comfortable for us to take shelter in our beliefs rather than confront and change them.It takes more effort to change something.. than go along it..
You say how do we change something like that , i say change your belief understand the costs of such beliefs ,are you ready to believe something like being a loser... or not being competent haunt you...make a decision.. (kuch kariye song from chak de india plays in background...)
...i read a book mice and men by john steinback.. in it ..i realised that children don't differenciate between men from color adults do.. take the lessons of the child with you.. remember all good beliefs you had as children..why did they change how did it all change.. from a great world to a the world we perceive now.. it is only cause of our beliefs and convictions..
...........................
Was watching Naruto.. its an anime ..
i realised the main guy.. never gives up.. and when asked by his opponents he replies..its the way of the ninja..the ninja is one who has the guts to never give up...more on this next time..

Society may predict ,but only i will determine my destiny...

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Any Given Sunday...

you know punks come in and go .. this league..
they get picked right out of the hood.. cause they can fight or run ,cause they are fast and big and strong.And suddenly they have got all the money and the foxes that chase the money...
and they get to live the dream...
but for every sucker who makes it ..for every jerry rice and barry sanders..they are hundred of nigras u never heard of...
.............................................

As we get older ,some things are taken away.. well that's a part of life but you only learn that when something is taken away from you..You find out that life is game of inches...so's football because the margin for error in either game football or life is so small...
...............
the inches we need are everywhere around us , in every second, every minutes, every hour.And in this world there are no shortcuts, In any fight i am going to tell its the guy who is willing to die who is going to get that inch..

Monday, August 04, 2008

PLeasure and PAin

Activties.. which you feel give u pleasure.. you don't stop doing them , even though long term effects might be harmful...

consider a experience ,you have had if u associate pain with it ,you will try to avoid it ..
pain is not literally pain but.. even something unpleasant.. giving back a loan, listening to classical music , reading some book ,calling up some frd.. etc it can be anything..but if u find it unpleasant you will avoid it..
why does a fat person ,who wants to slim down.. but can't
it cause he /she associates pleasure with eating food .. and pain with not ..
the pain of being fat is less than the pleasure of having great food...
.... many more examples i can give...

why does a particular person who has all the abilities to come first.. doesn't
cause he doesn't feel pleasure in coming first...he has some experiences which make him hate becoming a know it all... these experiences decide our destiny..........

the questions is.. whether the choice to hate something.. is greater than the pleasure of the choice we leave ........................
..
i feel we are controlled by our experiences than our intellect...

Friday, August 01, 2008

To Noelia

Quotes from a blog..

What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you. ~Richard Wilbur

No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. ~Henry Brooks Adams, The Education of Henry Adams, 1907

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. ~Author Unknown

This mess is a place! ~Author Unknown

because here he would be forever a stranger in a strange land. ~in The Good Guy, by: Dean Koontz

Keep a diary and one day it'll keep you. ~Mae West

Things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember. ~Seneca

Life is the goodest good." ~ Zabie Sahial

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. ~Anthony Brandt

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Disciple

the journey from ... X to Y .. from ice to sea....

The first condition to be a disciple.

the student who wants to know the truth must give up all desires for gain in this world or in the life to come ...what comes to mind is the question ..
what is truth.. ?

as long as desire creeps into the mind we cannot see the truth...as long as there is desire in our hearts there is no place for truth.. there might be a life better but there is also less truth in it..
a rich man understand less truth than a poor..
the disciple ..should say
" i don't care for anything in this life nor for all the heavens that have existed"
" i refuse to believe that i am just flesh and blood.. "
renunciate everything .. this is the first condition..



Second
control of the senese internal and external ..and to be established in spiritual virtues



why cause no spirtual knowledge would ...
good and evil are always there.. though many forget that and are overwhelmed by evil..they feel bitter ..
give ur mind to god....
think about a normal person like me
no sooner someone hits me my hand goes to his face and bang... how can i undersand christ..
who said

"Come unto me ,all ye that labour and are heavy laden , and i will give you rest"
keep the spirit in mind ...

.......

third quality is faith in the guru.....
we can read books ,argue and reason .. about god,about salvation about religion ,but none of it is spiritual because spirituality does not exist in theories ,in books or in philosophies..
A guru tells the student " go and sin no more.. " and no more can he sin...no more the person has the power to sin..you and i are just hollow talk not teachers..
We disturb the world with our thoughts and bad vibrations ..we hope we pray we struggle on..
..
silence is the method of the teacher..
what kind of belief will not do..?
Consider a man born in america 1900 years after christ .. does not even belong to the same race as Christ..He says Christ is god ..he has not seen Christ nor his family yet He says Jesus was God , if you don't believe it ,you will go to hell..,we might understand disciples of christ believed it ..he was their guru..,but what has this american got to do with the man born 1900 years before him ..what does he know of Jesus..
...

Next condition a disciple must fulfill
conceive an extreme desire to be free..
We are like moths plunging into the fire.. knowing that it will burn us ,knoing the senses only burn us ,that they only enchance desire..
Do we ever ask god free from bondage to senses ..from slavery to desire
instead we pray to him for health and prosperity. for long life..

what is the world but a combination of stomach and sex..?
take these away from them and they will find their lives meaningless...
sometimes i feel this world is full of atheists .. they believe in nothing but the senses....
what happens is we degrade religion to our low level ..and seek matter in the name of spirit

So and so said such and such.. let us try and have fun.. may be my broken leg will straighten.

these are the four conditions for a disciple to fulfill without fulfilling them the disciple cannot come in contact with a true guru..

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Tyranny of the Wise

Consider
if a man in america says "look i will sit under that tree and will do nothing except looking at my nose.. i don't want to work"
its bad ,its against law.. A man only can live in the society if he conforms to it ..

Consider the same man in India..
"if he says look i will sit under that tree and will do nothing except looking at my nose.. i don't want to work " this would be accepted..
but if a man says "i will enjoy this life " every door is closed on him..

This is the tyranny of the wise..tyranny of the sages ..of the spiritual of the intellectual.
This Tyranny of the wise is much more powerful than of the ignorant

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Vaishnav jan to

"Vaishnav jan to tene kahiye je
PeeD paraayi jaaNe re
Par-dukhkhe upkaar kare toye
Man abhimaan na aaNe re "

one who is vaishnav ,know the pains of others,does good to others ,esp those in misery does not let pride enter his heart.He tolerates and praises the entire world..does not say bad things about anyone..keeps his mind /thought /actions pure..so oh vaishnav ur mother is blessed..
try this link ..for the original song..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKAhRsqvZqo

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Power

...........
the source of actions of most is the thirst of power..
let us consider .. how did it start..
in a primitive world... with few human beings..
power of the wild animals.. would be greater than ours, and we made weapons..,shelter to protect ourselves from them,and hunt those less than us.. to eat..for skin..etc
power would be the power to feed ourselves.. the power to do something...
soon it translated to power of one person over the other.. the reason for conflicts is the power struggle that we find prevalent in our life.. even in our so called families.. its more about power than about love.. the idea of being better than someone driving the actions..(okay may be going overboared here but the idea... is more power..)
why do people want money.. its cause of power.. why do we want anything.. more than we need to survive.. it is due to the conditioning of power conflicts in us.
power to control the other persons destiny.. gives a feeling of high.. ( it is no different in essence from the high of taking drugs.. i feel)
the more u get the more u want.. the more u demand..

Monday, July 14, 2008

:)

अत्युच्चपदी थोरही बिघडतो हा बोल आहे खरा

sun, when you rise, everybody is happy and singstigers and other bad things go and hide in valleysbut once yuo start rising to the top, you start boiling useven great people are spoilt when in power

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Warren Buffett

The basic ideas of investing are to look at stocks as business, use the market's fluctuations to your advantage, and seek a margin of safety

on non productivity of gold
"It gets dug out of the ground in Africa, or someplace. Then we melt it down, dig another hole, bury it again and pay people to stand around guarding it. It has no utility. Anyone watching from Mars would be scratching their head."
inheritance tax
choosing the 2020 Olympic team by picking the eldest sons of the gold-medal winners in the 2000 Olympics

I don't have a problem with guilt about money. The way I see it is that my money represents an enormous number of claim checks on society. It's like I have these little pieces of paper that I can turn into consumption. If I wanted to, I could hire 10,000 people to do nothing but paint my picture every day for the rest of my life. And the GNP would go up. But the utility of the product would be zilch, and I would be keeping those 10,000 people from doing AIDS research, or teaching, or nursing. I don't do that though. I don't use very many of those claim checks. There's nothing material I want very much. And I'm going to give virtually all of those claim checks to charity when my wife and I die.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

I love you...

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Mehfuz....


Ya maula...
Ya maula...
Ya maula...

Ani jani hai kahani, Bulbulesi zindagani
Banti kabhi bigadti, Tez hawa se ladti bhidti,
Ha rehum ha raham farma aye khuda,Ha rehum ha raham farma aye khuda,
Mehfuz har kadam karna aye khuda aye khuda,Mehfuz har kadam karna aye khuda,
Aye khuda..........

Ya.....[Tarana]

Saason ki suti, Dor zaruti,
Jal jayegi, Jal jayegi,
Band jo laye the, Haaton ki muthi,
Khol jayegi, Khol jayegi.

Bhagwan kare kaya yeah ujali,Mitti mein mil jayegi,
Chahe jitni shamaye roshan karle,Dhoop toh dhal jayegi jayegi.

Ha rehum ha raham farma aye khuda,
Ha rehum ha raham farma aye khuda,
Mehfuz har kadam karna aye khuda aye khuda,
Mehfuz har kadam karna aye khuda,

Aye khuda..........
Sone chamak mein, Sikko khanak mein,
Milta nahi, Milta nahi,
Dhool ke zarro, Mein dhunde koi toh,
Milta wahi, Milta wahi.

Kya majhal teri marzi ke aage,Bandoo ki chal jayegi,
Tane ungli jo tu, KatPutliki chal badal jayegi jayegi.
Ha rehum ha raham farma aye khuda,Ha rehum ha raham farma aye khuda,
Mehfuz har kadam karna aye khuda aye khuda,Mehfuz har kadam karna aye khuda,Aye khuda..........Ha rehum ha raham allah


that this emphemeral life ,is like a bubble.. which lasts just for a moment in eternity..
sometimes its good ,some its is great .. sometimes its a fight like the lamp.. against the wind..
......but its only the lord... on whose wishes that we are safe... so we ask ..for his blessing

our breaths will extinguish...someday even all the lights will extinguish.. however hard we try. everything that start will end..
...........

the lord is not found in gold.. nor in dust..against his wishes nothing happens..

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Meherbaan..


Tu Hai Zabaan, Main Hoon Bayaan
Tu Hai Neha, Main Hoon Haya
Tere Bina Main Hoon Be Zameen,
Tere Bina Main Be Aasma
Tu Hai Nadiyaan, Main Hoon Sangam
Tu Naya Saal, Main Pehla Mausam
Tere Bina Main Hoon Be Zameen,
Tere Bina Main Be Aasma,
Tere Bina Main Hoon Be Zameen,
Tere Bina…..Meherbaan …..

Tu Hai Sana, Main Hoon Ana
Tu Hahteli, Main Hoon Heda

Aaj Elaan Yeh Kar Denge, Hum Ek Hai Ek Rahenge
Jo Aajaye Koi Toofan , Kabhi Raah Se Hum Nah Hathenge
Is Berangi Duniya Ko, Pyar Se Hum Rang Denge
Wafa Ka Diya Jalayenge, Har Ghar Mein Noor Bahenge

Tu Hai Nazar, Main Nazara
Tu Hai Sagar, Main Kinara
Tu Hai Zabaan, Main Hoon Bayaan
Tu Hai Neha, Main Hoon Haya

Monday, June 16, 2008

The truth of the cause of suffering

Buddhists maintain that there is no external creator and that even though a buddha is the highest being, even a buddha does not have the power to create new life. So now, what is the cause of suffering?( i think this is debatable but we have no answer to the question of creation..the chicken or the egg who came first.... what i think we all exist .. just in different forms all the time)

Generally, the ultimate cause is the mind; the mind that is influenced by negative thoughts such as anger, attachment, jealousy and so forth is the main cause of birth and all such other problems. However, there is no possibility of ending the mind, of interrupting the stream of consciousness itself. Furthermore, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with the deepest level of mind; it is simply influenced by the negative thoughts. Thus, the question is whether or not we can fight and control anger, attachment and the other disturbing negative minds. If we can eradicate these, we shall be left with a pure mind that is free from the causes of suffering.

This brings us to the disturbing negative minds, the delusions, which are mental factors(when we have headache.. sometimes we hear the phone ringing even though it hasn't... while driving i feel that their is going to an accident but nothing happens.. just a negative thought). There are many different ways of presenting the discussion of the mind, but, in general, the mind itself is something that is mere clarity and awareness. When we speak of disturbing attitudes such as anger and attachment, we have to see how they are able to affect and pollute the mind; what, in fact, is their nature? This, then, is the discussion of the cause of suffering.

If we ask how attachment and anger arise, the answer is that they are undoubtedly assisted by our grasping at things to be true and inherently real. When, for instance, we are angry with something, we feel that the object is out there, solid, true and unimputed, and that we ourselves are likewise something solid and findable. Before we get angry, the object appears ordinary, but when our mind is influenced by anger, the object looks ugly, completely repulsive, nauseating; something we want to get rid of immediately—it appears really to exist in that way: solid, independent and very unattractive. This appearance of “truly ugly” fuels our anger. Yet when we see the same object the next day, when our anger has subsided, it seems more beautiful than it did the day before; it’s the same object but it doesn’t seem as bad. This shows how anger and attachment are influenced by our grasping at things as being true and unimputed.

Thus, the texts on Middle Way [Madhyamaka] philosophy state that the root of all the disturbing negative minds is grasping at true existence; that this assists them and brings them about; that the closed-minded ignorance that grasps at things as being inherently, truly real is the basic source of all our suffering. Based on this grasping at true existence we develop all kinds of disturbing negative minds and create a great deal of negative karma.

In his Entering the Middle Way [Madhyamakavatara], the great Indian pandit Chandrakirti says that first there’s attachment to the self, which is then followed by grasping at things and becoming attached to them as “mine.” At first there is a very solid, independent I that is very big—bigger than anything else; this is the basis. From this gradually comes “this is mine; this is mine; this is mine.” Then “we, we, we.” Then, because of our taking this side, come “others, our enemies.” Towards I and mine, attachment arises. Towards him, her and them, we feel distance and anger; then jealousy and all such competitive feelings arise. Thus ultimately, the problem is this feeling of “I”—not the mere I but the I with which we become obsessed. This gives rise to anger and irritation, along with harsh words and all the physical expressions of aversion and hatred.

All these negative actions (of body, speech and mind) accumulate bad karma. Killing, cheating and all similar negative actions also result from bad motivation. The first stage is solely mental, the disturbing negative minds; in the second stage these negative minds express themselves in actions, karma. Immediately, the atmosphere is disturbed. With anger, for example, the atmosphere becomes tense, people feel uneasy. If somebody gets furious, gentle people try to avoid that person. Later on, the person who got angry also feels embarrassed and ashamed for having said all sorts of absurd things, whatever came into his or her mind. When you get angry, there’s no room for logic or reason; you become literally mad. Later, when your mind has returned to normal, you feel ashamed. There’s nothing good about anger and attachment; nothing good can result from them. They may be difficult to control, but everybody can realize that there is nothing good about them. This, then, is the second noble truth. Now the question arises whether or not these kinds of negative mind can be eliminated.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Deathly hallows

We all have dreams.. some intellectual some arrogant some outright foolish..want buy a mercedes .. a bugatti.. wanna go on a drive at 1 am in a porshe... or a bugatti... feeling free...
anyone read the deathly hallows.. harry potter book
the invisiblity cloak .. the elder wand and the resurrection stone

my hallows
1600 GRE
800 GMAT
100% CAT ......
what are your hallows......where do they lead us.. what do they make us do.. in our pursuit of them do we lose ourselves.. or happiness... do we lie.. do we become selfish self centred in our pursuit of them.. do we forget who are we...

do they really matter.. what are the reasons for doing such things.. to get into a college .. a b school.. a grad school..

arrogance.. that we are better than others...
depression.. that we are worse than others..
that i can do something... and that i cannot do something.. both are the cause of suffering..
suffering comes from death and decay.. existence is due to attachment..attachment is due to thirst.. thirst due to sensation..conscious due to predispositions ..predisposition to ignorance..

buddha eightfoldpart
right viewing, right thinking ,right speaking, right behaving, right vocation, right endeavouring
right mindfulness and right meditating
.......

suffering...
i suffer from a headache..
acutally you don't suffer from a headache u suffer from repeated thoughts.. u have been thinking in circles afraid to solve a problem.. or unable to solve a problem due to your ignorace about something..with repeated thoughts comes suffering.. think but think smart.. don't over do it...
...............

Friday, June 06, 2008

To Noelia..

Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy. ~Cynthia Nelms

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. ~Author Unknown

I think I could fall madly in bed with you. ~Author Unknown

Invent a past for the present. ~Daniel Stern

Where is the good in goodbye? ~Meredith Willson, The Music Man

In giving advice seek to help, not to please, your friend. ~Solon

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. ~Finley Peter Dunne


Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. ~Author Unknown

What the daughter does, the mother did. ~Jewish Proverb


Without the past, where is the guilt? And without the future, where is the dread? And without guilt and dread, who am I? ~from "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal", by Christopher Moore.

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone. ~Reba McEntire

Strangers are just friends waiting to happen. ~Rod McKuen, Looking for a Friend (Thank you, Carolyn.)

Having babies is fun, but babies grow up into people. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter, "The Price of Tomato Juice"
I considered atheism, but there weren't enough holidays. ~Author Unknown

Sticks and stones are hard on bones
Aimed with angry art,
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart.
~Suzanne Nichols


The tattoo attracts and also repels precisely because it is different. ~Margo DeMello, Bodies of Inscription: A Cultural History of the Modern Tattoo Community, 2000


People who are sensible about love are incapable of it. ~Douglas Yates

We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules. ~Buzzie Bavasi

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
Is dental.
~Ogden Nash

There is much to be said for failure. It is more interesting than success. ~Max Beerbohm, Mainly on the Air, 1946

True friends stab you in the front. ~Oscar Wilde


All the knowledge I possess everyone else can acquire, but my heart is all my own. ~Johann von Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther, 1774

People pay for what they do, and still more, for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it simply: by the lives they lead. ~Edith Wharton

Photography deals exquisitely with appearances, but nothing is what it appears to be. ~Duane Michals

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. ~Mark Twain

When you're happy, I'm happy. When you're sad, I'm sad. When you're lonely, call me! ~Author Unknown


Some things become so completely our own that we forget them. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. ~Author Unknown

Monday, June 02, 2008

Rubaiyat..

The palace where Jamshid held his cup
The doe and the fox now rest and sup
Bahram who hunted game non-stop
Was hunted by death when his time was up.

I resolve daily that at dusk I shall repent
For a night with a cup full of wine spent.
In the presence of flowers, my resolve simply went
In such company, I only regret that I ever resolved to repent.

In life devote yourself to joy and love
Behold the beauty of the peaceful dove
Those who live, in the end must all perish
Live as if you are already in heavens above.

O hark, let us not think of the morrow
Cherish this moment, far from sorrow
Life is a temporal gift that we borrow
Whether dead for ages, or leave tomorrow.

Pursuing knowledge in childhood we rise
Until we become masterful and wise
But if we look through the disguise
We see the ties of worldly lies.

I watched the birds on nature’s stage
Playful, in flight, page after page
Thus opened the doors of my cage
& learnt each moment to fully engage.




Sunday, June 01, 2008

its feels strange.. the rust seems to have set in..
i am unable to ..study as hard as i would want..
i want to put the 15 hours i need to ..without . getting drilled ..have to work on it
have to drill my self to study..
..........
getting disappointed at somethings.. i guess i have to build things .. slowly one step at a time...
u know most frustrating things in life..
Hemant: hey
8:39 PM me: hey
wazz up dude
Hemant: did u already appeear for interviews
me: wat's going on
na
Hemant: at M$
hmm
they rejected ur profile saying
u already appeared for inteviews
me: are interviews tho hui hi nahi
8:40 PM Hemant: written test ?????/
me: i was contacted for a position
na
no written test
Hemant: then anything
else
me: for redmond office paar
8:41 PM they asked me to fill a questionaire .. paar no contact after that
Hemant: hmm
k
then i'll chk
again
8:42 PM me: i just figured that they must have filled the position ..
Hemant: hmm
k
8:43 PM chal i'll chk
and let u know
me: okay..thanks
Hemant: hopefully it shuld be sorted out
me: ajeeb log hai
Hemant: chalback to ipl finals
yeah
me: yah
Hemant: bye tc :)
me: bye

getting rejected without a hearing.. getting rejected sucks..
okay maybe i ain't interested in the first place but rejection sucks..
rejection sucks period ..
.............

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Pappu can't dance saala

Check... the irony.. what is happening in NCR..
what the gujjar community is doing.. why are they fighting for reservation instead of fighting the problems..
will reservation make them happy.. have we ever seen a beggar happy..
what will this create .. a trend in the society.. to create havoc,in the society
can anyone reason with the gujjar community that they are themseleves cutting their own roots..
anything.. that is not based on strength .. on hard work on devotion... on concentration can't really last .. do they want a pyhrric victory ..
why people have died for reservation...soon are they are going to ask for reservation in heaven ...
has anything change in the last 2000 years.. are we culturally any different.. have we become better in anyway.. if we ask for reservations.. fight on such issues block traffic.. for such things
.............
this song i am listening to .. kinda sums it up ...
Pappu ki gaadi tez hai,
Pappu kudiyo mein craze hai.
Pappu ki aankhe light blue,
Pappu dikhta angrez hai. (angrez hai)
Rado ki ghaari haton mei, perfume Gucci wala.
But Pappu can't dance saala.
Par Pappu can't dance saala.
Haa Pappu naach nai sakta

its like with reservation.. you can have everything.. but nothing.. cause u haven't earned it..

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

We the unwilling ,led by the unknowing are doing the impossible ,for the ungrateful
we have done so much with so little for so long that we are qualified to do anything with nothing..

Friday, May 23, 2008

"i ain't any angel or a demon.. just a human.."

The Divine and Demonic..

.. we all have some good and some bad things..

"i ain't any angel or a demon.. just a human.."
anonymous

they say hate the sin not the sinner..
hate the game not the player..


what happens with most of us.. me included is that we feel an emptiness inside .. and inorder to fill that emptiness ,we start a journey ..where we go ..what we choose to..
most of us we go for the latest fad around.. the most happening disc to the most happening clothes... the latest iphone..go and watch the latest movie.. even though we feel no happiness from it.. we still do it.. some of us choose a different way.. we cut down from our loved and dear ones and work.. and work.. try to achieve something we think that is worthwhile. ... if we achieve then also we aren't satisfied actually we are.. happy for the moment.. but the truth is that the emptiness remains....what if we don't we are even more engrossed into it.. and try for it even more...and are caught in the delusion that something is everything.. that might be getting.. an audi.. getting a promotion..but the truth is that greed lust and ego...inhibit the potential
soon we get tired or exhausted from the circle.. ....

consider

is happiness a commodity in the supermarkets ..i guess this will answer all your questions..

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Its Raining

its like rain..

It is the springtime of my loving - the second season I am to know
You are the sunlight in my growing - so little warmth I've felt before.
It isn't hard to feel me glowing - I watched the fire that grew so low.

It is the summer of my smiles - flee from me Keepers of the Gloom.
Speak to me only with your eyes. It is to you I give this tune.
Ain't so hard to recognize - These things are clear to all from
time to time.

Talk Talk - I've felt the coldness of my winter
I never thought it would ever go. I cursed the gloom that set upon us...
But I know that I love you so

These are the seasons of emotion and like the winds they rise and fall
This is the wonder of devotion - I seek the torch we all must hold.
This is the mystery of the quotient - Upon us all a little rain must fall...It's just a little rain...

......................

its raining today..

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Phone conversation..

this is a phone conversation.. a long time ago..

..a girl and a guy talking to each other..

the girl.. starts to sing... this song..


You fill up my senses like a night in the forest,
like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain,
like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean.
You fill up my senses, come fill me again.

Come let me love you, let me give my life to you,
let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms,
let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you.
Come let me love you, come love me again.

...

.. the girl.. says i love you..

and the guy says thank you..

Friday, May 16, 2008

Oxford.. standford..UIUC..

.. why to all these places.. when your own father can teach you ..
when.. you haven''t even learnt what is taught at home..why to go to all these places..
learn from your parents .. you siblings.. learn from everyone..

thinking of learning urdu..
politics..

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Suicide...

There are a variety of reasons posited or given for suicide:

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Guidelines..

When i chose a word its means what i intend it mean no more no less..

Sunday, May 11, 2008

To win someone's heart you have to understand the little pains, little problems they face.. only then u can win their heart.. be a part of their life the pains the joys.. all those little things and if any the big ones too..
to understand someone else u need to understand what you feel about that person..
only then u can understand someone..

This is applicable to all relations..... and this is my experience talking..

Saturday, May 10, 2008

The sublime and the ridiculous..

The sublime and the ridiculous are often related so nearly that its difficult to class them seperately...


Aa aa aa aaa...
Aa aa aa..
SA ....
pa ne sa re ga sa re paa ma ga sa re ga ga sa
sa re ma pa ne sa
sa re ma pa ne sa pada ma pa ga sa re ga sa re pa ma ga sa re ga ga sa

Ho ho ho ho neer bharan kaise jaaon
hmm hmm neer bharan kaise jaaon

Sakhi ri Mori dagar chalat mosey karat har Sakhi Neer Bharan Kaise Jaaon
Chan chal chapala nat hat khat manoti nahin kaoo ki baat
Binti Karat Main to Gai Har Sakhi Neer Bharan Kaise Jaaon
Neer Bharan Kaise Jaaon
kaise jaaon.........
kaise jaaon.....
kaise jaaoon....
jaaaon......

Neer Bharan Kaise Jaaon

ta na de re na aaa
ta na de re na aaa de re naaaaa
dheem tana tana tana tana dheem tana tana tana tana
tananana dere na dere na dere na dere na dere na .........
tananana dere na dere na dere na dere na dere na .........
tananana de na na dere na aaaaaaaa!!!

Binti Karat Main to Gai Har Sakhi Neer Bharan Kaise Jaaon
Neer Bharan Kaise Jaaon
Sakhi ri Mori dagar chalat mosey karat har Sakhi Neer Bharan Kaise Jaaon
Neer Bharan Kaise Jaaon

.................
Tilak raag.. kamod..

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Bandeya....

......................................................................


Bulley no samjhawan aayan behna te bharjaiaan,
Munlay bullehya sada kehna chad de pala rayaan
Aaale nabi Aulade Ali noo too kyoun leeka laayaan
Jehra sano Syed saday doozakh milan sazayaan

Raaeen Saaeen subhni Thaeee Rab diyan be parwa yan
Sohiyaan pare hataian te kojiah lay Gul layaan
Jay tu Loray Baagh baharan Chakar ho ja raai yan
Bulley shah di zaat ke puchni Shaakar ho Raziaaan

Bandeyaaa hoooo ,Bandeya

......................................................................

This song written by bulleh shah.. response to his relatives asking him to leave his guru..as his caste(rayaan- a person who is a farmer.. ) is lower than bulleh shah's(sayyaid.. descendent of the prophet..) ...
chaad de pala rayaan( his guru....)..
to this bulleh response.. is that .. what his guru's caste is .. that is his.. and whoever thinks his caste is different from his guru's that person will burn in hell.. ( Jehra sano Syed saday doozakh milan sazayaan).......

i love this line..
Bulley shah di zaat ke puchni Shaakar ho Raziaaan............

In short don't ask the caste the religion.. of a person..whom you love..
in today's world where we divide even in caste.. punjabi.. baniya.. marwari.. brahmin.. gujrati.. tamil..
rich poor.. and think one is good and other is not.. one is saint.. and the other the devil..

...
consider
rejection on the basis of color.. forget about caste creed etc.. there is this tendency for fair girls in india..
something of a colonial hangover..
or the basis of survival of the fittest..
.........







Tuesday, May 06, 2008

to be, or not to be

"To be, or not to be, that is the question;
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them"

To be..
cause it better to be than be not.. cause death comes to all .. but to cowards a many times more.. ..

And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn away,
And lose the name of action

Monday, May 05, 2008

Comments..

1. fulfil my childhood dream to be an IAS
failure rate.. very high..

2. Study for four months crack cat( go into IIMA ) and pay homage to my frd
save the homage for his death you fuck.... and better ways to do that..


3. take another job say microsoft /google / ... and keep working
and make other people rich..

4.Take GRE apply for MS/PHD and become the great researcher my teachers thought i would be.

ek aur indian nasa main..

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Teeeeeeeeee SHirt

.......
Good news .. jayant got in iimc ..
bad news.. saala ja raha hai.. pata nahi kab milege..
.......
The mosquito walk .. happened a fews weeks when we were left high and dry.. by doodhwalla who went to see his love ... :) ..
Here porthos.. is sad that doodhwalla is going .. and he is now going to be alone.. moreover.. he is being forced into the same cat thing by the peers..
Aramis.. is quiet .. and doesn't seem to be bothered but actually from the inside he is ..
Athos is giving his theory.. which are too difficult to be applied in real life.. utter crap. ..
....
All people after a cat.. who let the dogs out...
...........
quotes..
if you want to learn about management spend six months in the management section at oxford bookstore.. you will learn more that at harvard or a iim...
if you want to earn money. start a business.. ..
if you want to learn about life.. go to an iim....
...........
about the yahoo.. microsoft.. merger..
. It's like taking the two guys who finished second and third in a 100-yard dash and tying their legs together and asking for a rematch, believing that now they'll run faster

Friday, May 02, 2008

Going for Broke...part2

1.fulfil my childhood dream to be an IAS
why do i want to be ias..
think of it.. it is a corrupt place to be.. but the only place you can do something for this country.. serve this country.. which has given us so much .you mightsay join politics..but somehow i don't see myself clad in khadi.. and robbing the poor of the country.. why ias cause it will make me a better person where i would be able to help people.. change stuff i think which is not right.. make changes.. assuage the pains of the common .. yes the thought arises that i might not be able to do this .. might just fail in my attempts to be one.. might clear and then become one of the most corrupt ias officers.. but mayy be become one of the most honest ias officers.. ever to be have existed.. yes.. i do have the qualities.. to become the best and the worst.. or may be just yet another ias officer..


2. Study for four months crack cat( go into IIMA ) and pay homage to my frd
well this is the easiest option.. i have loads of the management skills....cracking cat for a person with my aptitude shouldn't be hard.. this opinion comes from various sources friends .. collegues.. etc.. and yah there is old thing .. one of frds joby john once did i college proud by getting 100% in CAT .. i want to repeat that....my sister wants me to do my mba..


3. take another job say microsoft /google / ... and keep working
well this has taken a back seat.. suddenly.. working for peanuts no longer seems a good option.. when my fellow frds are earning so much..


4.Take GRE apply for MS/PHD and become the great researcher my teachers thought i would be.
the noble.. thing to do..
well this was something all my teachers thought i would be heading to.. after college.. but somehow the enthusiam faded away.. alok went to carnegie, thathoo to standford.. but i didn't... don't know where i lost my interest..


you should do a job you love.. do research in things u like.. study things that enlighten u..

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Going for Broke...

Life is a box of chocolates..
you pick one but you want them all..

The idea behind choosing one is that we leave the others..

choices that i have...

1. fulfil my childhood dream to be an IAS
2. Study for four months crack cat( go into IIMA ) and pay homage to my frd
3. take another job say microsoft /google / ... and keep working
4.Take GRE apply for MS/PHD and become the great researcher my teachers thought i would be.

which one to choose.. what do i want.. where is the enthusiam ..

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Take your time

...
in anger you might say things.. when u get hurt u might say things u might not do..
in ego you might say and do things u might not either..

things will be.. the way they will be...yet other things will change and would astound you ..

"I don't want to die now! I've still got a headache!
I don't want to go to heaven with a headache, I'd be all cross and wouldn't enjoy it!"

Friday, April 18, 2008

Surfing,..

“Somebody loves you and wants you to know,Longs to be with you wherever you go;Somebody loves you and right from the start,Somebody wants to come into your heart!”



This i read .. in a blog.. while surfing..

Monday, April 14, 2008

Yoga

What controls a restless mind is yoga ..when yoga controls the mind ..all powers can be attained..
because the mind is the cause of all that is good or bad..
so once the mind is controlled .. a person can be trully free
what is good what is bad..what is virtue what is sin..
to relieve the pain of anyone..that is virtous action..to cause pain .. to injure someone that is a sin..
love is virtue and hatred is sin..

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Walk the Talk

well i was reading .. this book on vipassana.. one of my frds aadi gave me the book..
you can learn all the thoery but if you don't know practice.. you will never understand never grow..
So let all shed our inhibitions and walk the talk.. walk the line.. which we draw..

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Knowledge

the knowledge is superior to everything in purification ,knowledge differentiates between good and bad ,what to see what to not ,what to hear and what not to ..to get affected from what to act for ..
the one who does not have knowledge nor faith ,who doubts that person is lost ...
he is neither happy on earth nor in heaven ...(if u ask a person whether he wants to go to heaven ,he will say yes but if u ask whether if he wants to die he will say no... such is the state..)

I Wanna Hold Ur Hand

"agar ise bolegi tho koi pakar lega"

strange things happen when u visit religious places ,you marvel at the devotion of some ,the confused look on others ,the ritual for the masses, who visit the gurudwara ,the mosque ,the temple..the church ,but its just a journey for some who find peace in different ways ,the journey to find yourself is so long and is not related to the daily chores
we all have a pretense against change , hundred excuses against one commitment.I have to learn to talk only when i am spoken to ...what else

" i am not an angel nor a devil "
just human

playing pools and breaking stone fishes ...that summed up the day

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

A DoLL NaMed STEFFI GRAF

yesterday was filled with contrasting emotions ..
Cat results were out..so a lot of people were excited..
still yet to check my cat score.. a lot of people asking..
karm karo fal ki ischa na karo is only for the books.. and its ancient or weird if somebody follows it..
guess i am ancient..
..
went for bowling .. bought some stuff from arrow..
..came back to office.. worked a while ..
went home..talked to old frds and new..

Sunday, January 06, 2008

loVe

their something i understood about love from my experiences...

its
love does not fear..
love will not ask for a remittance..
and love is for the ideal..

why i say these things are due to ,if u fear .. u will be anger .. anger to pain and pain to suffering.. how can person in love suffer.. if u fear something.. then u will hate.. and if u hate the love u have for something will be tested severely and will be found wanting..so as long as u have fear u have hate u cannot love..
love is divine due to this..
love is not a trade.. it will not ask to loved in return ..it will not be turned into something else just cause of being spurned..
it is like tapasya ..which is for the its own sake..
love is for the ideal .. which we think is ideal.. hence we all love god..
and those people who remind us of the lord..

Friday, January 04, 2008

Critique of Pure Reason

  • What can I know?"
  • "What should I do?".
  • "What may I hope for?"

These three questions..

what can i know..
how can i know something , ..
how do i differentiate between knowledge based on reason and experience,